Gentowa

When we can bring up the child to separateness? Still. We have to bring up the child to separateness from the childhood, through preschool age and school age, during puberty to the adult age. The most important is the preschool age upbringing. During the puberty the child has the desire for separateness and self-realization. The child in puberty wants to shows that he is adult and also he wants the respect.

Self-education relates with the upbringing to separateness. The self-education needs the intelligence, strong will, discipline, self-seriousness and self-renunciation. The self-education also needs respect of laws and objectively appraisal of own personality. Also the correct presumption of own properties and possibilities is connected with self-education. The self-education connects with appreciation of yourself and also with appreciation of your own mistakes and limitations. Sincere labour gets rid of the mistakes and wants to be better and ideal person is also connected with self-education. Every person knows his limitations and mistakes by comparing of actions of other people with their own. Serious element of self education is naturaly ambition, which affects on behaviour. Naturaly ambition incites to high performance and directs mentality of individual. This individual anxious for self-improvement. Self-education needs adoption of hierarchy and living destination of individual. This individual has to voluntary save the restrictions, which are needful for realization of living destination and also those restrictions underlie the change of the individual’s character and temperament. Fight with own naturalism is always the most difficult. Somebody who wins on itself by steady will and self-control, he is saved in the life and he achieves success. Those people, who counts on themselves, they trusts only themself and their perform the brave job only for their favor, but also the favor of the communities they refer among their constructors. But it also needs still learning,checking their own experiences and always ahead and self-education.

Preadolescent period

Preadolescent is the preparatory phase on changes, which everyone supersedes in puberty.

- The children signally grows to length (the long bones grow extremely swift) and they show also another physical growth changes.

- Growth and psychical changes are extremely manifested by balance of mind or spiritual unrest.

- Children try to catch each other, climbed on trees, they scream on each other, they are noisy and they need to remove their superfluous energy. They make a lot of bad things because they desire for adventures. They do not think about the implications of their action.

- The boys vaunt among each other. They want to show their brave in front of girls, because the boys minimize and mortify the girls.

-Girls notice boys, yet. But they often respond only with arcane titter or they expressively manifest enmity.

-At this time of children already begin remark turn upon yourself,be conscious of themselfs,and at the same time they loose their safety step by step,they become shy and timid.

-In preadolescent time they need emotional understanding at more standard way,spiritual support,they need person who to they can fully trust. When the parent non-performance their expectation,they start to unstick from him,authority of adults decays,in the first place the authority of their own parents,because they think that

parents do not understand them and in the emotional regions they unsatisfying them.At this time,parents should understand,that the development of self-assurance of their children is natural and also their desire for separateness.

-Good-fellowship has for child th highes value.It is based on labour about common interests,about common desire for adventures,about labour how to resolve attractive secrets of life and love for certain games,hobbies(collecting of something) and about undertaking.In front of friends,childrens express theri opinions,feelings and guess-work openly and daringly.Faithfulness stars as the highest value of friendship,manifestatives in solidarity,what can be sometimes shown as protection of deliquent(”Friend unharmed a friend!”).

-In preadolescent,children do not feel as children, therefore they refuse obedience and they express dissatisfaction,when parents attend them like before.

-Their self-assurance upgrows,they find themselves,they let know themselves as independent personality,they deny things as they are given,they want to apply own will and they want to rule themselves according to the will.They judge parents and teachers,they criticize their observance and behaviour.They deny e.g. to walk with them on walk,they will not that parents tend them on train or to the bus on school trip,or when they go common recreation.When parents do not register these changes of preadolescent development and spheric on consciousness them and they exact obedience of child with “hard hand”,conflicts originate. Each injuction acts as inhibition but at the same time it provokes the children and also incite to stubbornness.

- The period of prepuberty is the start of freeing from the familiar relation. It is also the preparing for independence of child. In this time the parents shouldn’t use the commands as: ” Go to the shop!” , ” Wash the dinnerware!” . When the mother uses instead of commands design for the child then the child obeys earlier. When the child have ability to choose in design then he make this what he thinks that is good or he makes what involves with the parents design ( for example, “Please, can you go to the shop?”).

- in this time the child is very sensitive on underfoot, mortification, ironize or mockery. He is very emotionally vulnerable, because his self-assurance develops and steadies. Objective, calm and friendly conversation, which we give the trust to child and which we express gravity towards him. The trust is the warranty of good results. The child must feel, that he has the patron in you. He must feet that he can said you his secrets.

- Moods of child frequently changes. The child is more concentrated on his own experiences and hobbies. His interests start to differentiate.Sometimes he shows the ill self-assurance, self-satisfaction or arrogance, he also shows the ambiton to fix the respect on him. He has kookie dresing and also he starts to smoke very early.

- Also the behaviour is frequently changed. At first place is emotional aspect ( the easy snappishness, dilemma, indeterminateness at punishments). The parents have to have the very sensitive behaviour to those canges of their children. They have to be tactful, tact and understanding.

- In this time the child againsts authority therefore the parents should change the relation to the child. The parents should become the friends of the child. Friendship againsts the resistance of the child. This friendship also weaken the conflicting policy and because of this the parents have still the authority. Friendship and understanding is not weakness from the side of parents. The child always has to see the authority in his parents.Parential reasoning “no” has to be critical for the child.