Gentowa

When we can bring up the child to separateness? Still. We have to bring up the child to separateness from the childhood, through preschool age and school age, during puberty to the adult age. The most important is the preschool age upbringing. During the puberty the child has the desire for separateness and self-realization. The child in puberty wants to shows that he is adult and also he wants the respect.

Self-education relates with the upbringing to separateness. The self-education needs the intelligence, strong will, discipline, self-seriousness and self-renunciation. The self-education also needs respect of laws and objectively appraisal of own personality. Also the correct presumption of own properties and possibilities is connected with self-education. The self-education connects with appreciation of yourself and also with appreciation of your own mistakes and limitations. Sincere labour gets rid of the mistakes and wants to be better and ideal person is also connected with self-education. Every person knows his limitations and mistakes by comparing of actions of other people with their own. Serious element of self education is naturaly ambition, which affects on behaviour. Naturaly ambition incites to high performance and directs mentality of individual. This individual anxious for self-improvement. Self-education needs adoption of hierarchy and living destination of individual. This individual has to voluntary save the restrictions, which are needful for realization of living destination and also those restrictions underlie the change of the individual’s character and temperament. Fight with own naturalism is always the most difficult. Somebody who wins on itself by steady will and self-control, he is saved in the life and he achieves success. Those people, who counts on themselves, they trusts only themself and their perform the brave job only for their favor, but also the favor of the communities they refer among their constructors. But it also needs still learning,checking their own experiences and always ahead and self-education.

Preadolescent period

Preadolescent is the preparatory phase on changes, which everyone supersedes in puberty.

- The children signally grows to length (the long bones grow extremely swift) and they show also another physical growth changes.

- Growth and psychical changes are extremely manifested by balance of mind or spiritual unrest.

- Children try to catch each other, climbed on trees, they scream on each other, they are noisy and they need to remove their superfluous energy. They make a lot of bad things because they desire for adventures. They do not think about the implications of their action.

- The boys vaunt among each other. They want to show their brave in front of girls, because the boys minimize and mortify the girls.

-Girls notice boys, yet. But they often respond only with arcane titter or they expressively manifest enmity.

-At this time of children already begin remark turn upon yourself,be conscious of themselfs,and at the same time they loose their safety step by step,they become shy and timid.

-In preadolescent time they need emotional understanding at more standard way,spiritual support,they need person who to they can fully trust. When the parent non-performance their expectation,they start to unstick from him,authority of adults decays,in the first place the authority of their own parents,because they think that

parents do not understand them and in the emotional regions they unsatisfying them.At this time,parents should understand,that the development of self-assurance of their children is natural and also their desire for separateness.

-Good-fellowship has for child th highes value.It is based on labour about common interests,about common desire for adventures,about labour how to resolve attractive secrets of life and love for certain games,hobbies(collecting of something) and about undertaking.In front of friends,childrens express theri opinions,feelings and guess-work openly and daringly.Faithfulness stars as the highest value of friendship,manifestatives in solidarity,what can be sometimes shown as protection of deliquent(”Friend unharmed a friend!”).

-In preadolescent,children do not feel as children, therefore they refuse obedience and they express dissatisfaction,when parents attend them like before.

-Their self-assurance upgrows,they find themselves,they let know themselves as independent personality,they deny things as they are given,they want to apply own will and they want to rule themselves according to the will.They judge parents and teachers,they criticize their observance and behaviour.They deny e.g. to walk with them on walk,they will not that parents tend them on train or to the bus on school trip,or when they go common recreation.When parents do not register these changes of preadolescent development and spheric on consciousness them and they exact obedience of child with “hard hand”,conflicts originate. Each injuction acts as inhibition but at the same time it provokes the children and also incite to stubbornness.

- The period of prepuberty is the start of freeing from the familiar relation. It is also the preparing for independence of child. In this time the parents shouldn’t use the commands as: ” Go to the shop!” , ” Wash the dinnerware!” . When the mother uses instead of commands design for the child then the child obeys earlier. When the child have ability to choose in design then he make this what he thinks that is good or he makes what involves with the parents design ( for example, “Please, can you go to the shop?”).

- in this time the child is very sensitive on underfoot, mortification, ironize or mockery. He is very emotionally vulnerable, because his self-assurance develops and steadies. Objective, calm and friendly conversation, which we give the trust to child and which we express gravity towards him. The trust is the warranty of good results. The child must feel, that he has the patron in you. He must feet that he can said you his secrets.

- Moods of child frequently changes. The child is more concentrated on his own experiences and hobbies. His interests start to differentiate.Sometimes he shows the ill self-assurance, self-satisfaction or arrogance, he also shows the ambiton to fix the respect on him. He has kookie dresing and also he starts to smoke very early.

- Also the behaviour is frequently changed. At first place is emotional aspect ( the easy snappishness, dilemma, indeterminateness at punishments). The parents have to have the very sensitive behaviour to those canges of their children. They have to be tactful, tact and understanding.

- In this time the child againsts authority therefore the parents should change the relation to the child. The parents should become the friends of the child. Friendship againsts the resistance of the child. This friendship also weaken the conflicting policy and because of this the parents have still the authority. Friendship and understanding is not weakness from the side of parents. The child always has to see the authority in his parents.Parential reasoning “no” has to be critical for the child.

The child in the preschool age knows commands and instructions of his familiar environment or of his kindergarden. He knows what he can do and he knows what is his obligation. Mentaly normal child usually manages with it. The child who has absolved the kindergarden, knows how to get to the companies of the people of the same age without problems. The kindergarden role is to help the children to get to companies without any problems. Psychical and social maturity of the child depends on his separateness. His separateness is his ability to capture as a fully-fledged member and he knows capture his place in school colectiveand also in company of the people of the same age. He also knows vindicates his laws. Those things depend on his preschool upbringing in his environment. We remind in the previous chapters, that o lot of mistakes at upbringing of child to separeteness make their parents, because their parens are shy, timid, abashedly, meticulous. Those parents bring up instead of ambitious and self-employed child, they bring up fearful and abashedly child, the child same as they are.

Fear of child originates in unwaited or strong sensual stimulus. The child terrify when a dog suddenly yaps, when you surprisingly toss him up, when he suddenly hears the shoot or thunder, when somebody give a cry on him very quickly or when somebody terrify him. The child terrify when his mother is screaming on him or when his mother threatens him that she gives him to gypsys. The fear is not inherit, but the fear originates from the incorrect upbringing. It is the learned fear. The children fear from dark and storm when they feel out the fear from their parents. Disturbance of mother before inoculation of her child is transmited on this child and also whed mother said that it will not hurt the child’s fear is increasing. When the doctor stings the injection to the child and the child suddenly stop crying- it is the mark that he was terror strickened by vision of horror, which his mother involuntary suggest him. Therefore you have to scape from the scaring of the child.

Very inept punishment is to close the child to the dark room or shut out him to home. Also very inept punishment is to lock away of his mother to think that she leaves him. Those punishments damage the mental balance of the child and also those punishments damage his psychic. How we can despoil the child of fearfulness? At first we have to surround this child with atmosphere of serenity and safety, which results from his situation. Serenely, without vexation and without scream we satisfy him that he is in safety. At the same time we effort him how :to oversleep, to dress,to wash and also other activities and this everything he must do alone.Child that puts himself on,shuffles,washes,knows how to eat and everything connects whit this without any help,can feel more sure and have higher immunity.Seperatness forms conditions for obtaining psychical balance and feeling of security.Skittishness of child we can overrun also when we intergrated him into the collective of other children.Fearful child feel in more sure and earlier undertake himself at intercommunication with young children as among the people of the same age.

If we want to that child does not to afraid of anything,he must not see the adults to afraid of something. When the child fears of the certain animal, for example of dog, at first we have to ident the child with this animal. We show him this animal on picture and then at first we will show him small lively dog. We stroke this dog then we permit to storke this dog to child and we also permit to the child to play with this dog. According to this, we can liquidate everyone’s fear from the certain think.

Right upbringing have to cultivate children with suitable courage and ability to determine absolutely, but only so much how requisites and interests claim it. We have to take care about it : that policy of child was not with repugnant with socially exigenci and also with socially moral. Those positive properties can be cultivate on trusts between him and his parent. We can successfully bring up to separateness only child with unharmed nervous system. Well bring up means to bring up at first yourself .

When we want to upbring the child to separateness we make use of ambitions of this child to known something,also of his requirement situation, and inclination to imitation and his labour of separateness. Therefore each parent should permit to child more separateness, Everything,what he can make or he is able to do, should make alone. Sources of aspiration to separateness is in good feeling of self-confidence.You can persuade the child , that he knows it.

Source of aspiration independence healthy feeling of self-confidence, belief of child, that he knows it and his effort to try it; when he is successful it incfeases his self-confidence. Mainly each new success makes him braver and craving for independent action without help provided by parents. Parents can support self-assurance of child if they express their acknowledgement, admiration and praise.

Child shoud teach how to eat, put on, wash and adopt needed hygienic habits as soon as is possible. Patient mother can show him,how to do it. Regular showing of various and complicated movements, that the child has to make, increases his facilities and widens his skills. Already at the toddlers age they get tactile practice by touchting things.This practice is very important for its orientation.

Tendency to imitate helps the child discuss many manners of behaviour, habits and specialties of parents, sibs or other people, who the child is coming in contact with. On the basis of its efforts to be independent the child would like to do things that it couldn´t do before.

Playing is very important in life of child. As the child behaves in the free playing, so it will behave latter in work. The child should be lead to independence also during playing with it. We should also tend his creativity.

Toy for child has to be safe, because of protection from hurt.Toy also has to be elegantly, nice and adapted to help in upbringing. Upbringing to separateness is upbringing to courage and daring. Courage belongs to valued and helpful personal properties.

We have to lead the child from the game to the slow feed work. At first we have to show the child that the work is as the game and than give the child the work which is adequate and the child can do it. We can do also the severe work with the child as similarity of the game. At the same time we can take the child the sense of discipline, cleanness and also we lead him to the individual work. Upbringing to work means to form the right relationship to work for child. Work which is confered to child it mustn’t libel his initiative, but it has to supports separateness of his actions. Source of self-confidence is successful action and encompassment of estimate work. Because of it we have to keep for the child only easy responsibilities which the child can make successfully. Dynamic and intelligent children can uncharge their superfluos energy

with woek and also they can learn something new and useful. Child is interested in the thing which he do but he is also interested about results of acivities. Therefore when we give the work to the child we have to explain the purpose of this work or activity. At first we have to give the child only small amount of work and very easy activities which he have to do in a short time. When we give him harder operation we have to show him the way of this advance. We have to watch at him to the finish.

We show the child the outside world at the work, because of this the children have a strong desire to learn new things. Through the senses they learn about the environment in which they live.They determine by the touching the size and shape of objects. Very important work has the muscular sense. This muscular sense signalizes each movement, position and also the way of all parts of the body which relate with movement. Those muscular senses signalize to encephalic centre.

Activity of children has to be miscellaneous and also has to change. The childs organism develops and therefore it hates the violent stress. Unvaried and heavy work is very dangerous for development of child. The tools, with which the children work, have to be adequate for age of child and it mustn’t be very hard.

We have to get single clothes for children who already know get dressed.

At upbringing of child to separateness and self-education only the love and the help come short of. Love, which bring up safety for the child, means work and also the exert. This work and exert is not only with the child but also with yourself.

Upbringing to separateness non-means, that the child makes what he want. The upbringing has to be the firm system and authority. The child have to subordinate to the authority of his parents and because of subordination the child adoptates the elements of separateness and discipline. Mission of parent’s upbringing to separateness is bring up such child, who knows behave and do a right things and this child do the right things also then, when the parents do not wath or inspect him.

Parents bring up the child to discipline by arranging of his life style. We arrange the life of children by application of daily routine, which has to mark by sensibleness, regularity and precision. In each family the child will have other system, the child´s time will not be the same and also his obligation will be different. This system is necessary and also respekt of all family members is necessary.

The upbringing in family has to be build up on the regard to authority. Little child needs a example for his actions. The example of child should be parents. The authority can not be build up on love and goodness, but authority have to spring from the life and from the work of their parents and also from their situation in the company. The senior child also has to have the respect to the authority.

The authority have to be incorporate. The second tudor of child mustn’t permit to child the things which the first tudor forbades. In the preschool age the steadfastness upgrows in practise. Tendency to levity and changing of toys, which was before noticed, this tendency in the older school age wane. The child more steady addict to the certain activity which attracts him.

Authority means respect, appretiated by some parents, tutors and other people, who strongly influence the child or the adult, and to whom the child or the adult vuluntarily submit themselves, realizing their superiority based on their knowledge, life experiences, morals, strenght of their character, precision of their actions, and on handling people. Authority comes from the personality of each person. Personality of each person comes from his moral and character properties, experiences and knowledge.

Science and experience confirm, that the upbringing have the biggest success of those parents and tutors, who have the authority. Parents often express: father has authority, mother has not it, that is why when mother want to upbringing her children she threaten by father and also in other side, when mother has authority and father hasn’t. Children or brothers and sisters threaten: “I will tell it mum!” In this family, where one parent is threatened to children, a balance is disturbed. Each parent should have so much authority, to have respect from his children. The other parent doesn’t need to use corporal punishment, children subordinate from love, regard and children more accept just one parent, who is not threatened to them.

Some of people think, that authority is given to parents, or that they inherit it. People also think that authority is some individual talent, ability, which parents cannot learn. Today’s psychology defines authoritarian figure and properties of this figure so good. Authority is a personable property but not common property. Each parents ant tudors can obtain authority of children, when they make things which are right for acquirement of the authority.

We know two types of authority: formal and informal.

Formal authority originates from a power position, which an individual has, from his official function, where he is.

Informal authority is result of personal profile, mature, abilities, adequate self-condifience from which person has acknowledgement.

Formal authority is necessary useful for securing of normal life in the company. Human accepts authority simply. He does not study for example character of trafickman, who orders traffic control on crosses, and also he does not have to know the author of atlas of mushrooms but he believes his statements and also human conforms according to his advice.

Questions of morality, ideology, values of human value and relationship, are questions which introduce refill of action of people and reason of their state. Serious authority determine about those questions. Serious authority is authority of tudors, parents, judges, commercials and other people. Neither children nor adult individuals do not reject this authority blindy. At first that child accepts and acquiescing authority, tries to know and evulates more closely the person who order him. Child supposes, that has right to evaluates and judges adult, who rule his behaviour and action. Child shows the regard only people, who deserve it.

Isn’t possible, that parents or teachers rationalization or represent each their requirement or signal. It would be just waste of time to represent each requirement or signal, sometimes it would be also purposeless, because a little child doesn’t know make a sense of logical reasons of certain term yet.