How parents try to obtain children’s authority
Isn’t possible, that parents or teachers rationalization or represent each their requirement or signal. It would be just waste of time to represent each requirement or signal, sometimes it would be also purposeless, because a little child doesn’t know make a sense of logical reasons of certain term yet. Prodigious import of authority of parents or another tutor is , that children, whose parents have authority, children generally do not observe expedience or inexpediency of certain request of their parents. Sometimes an ability to know the parents logical request is necessary because - it gives some warrant of trust for children.
Correct parential authority has extra value for successful upbringing. Also it is the same about the authority of other tutors. Parents usually understand the authority right but they do not know how they can obtain authority.
Dr. Josef Prchal (upbringing of children) inducts a few styles , how parents try to obtain authority.
1. He recalls inapt authority which is based on downtrodden, which manifest from wrong relationship of parents to children. Parents or tutors have claimed authority by shout, threat and fight for each trifle. Their terror evokes atmosphere of a fear, a uncertainty, a horror. Later this authority can display in temperamentally limitations and negative properties of those children. Children of those parents fear and in every possible way they want to offset the punishment, therefore they begin ambages very early. Those children tell lies and cheat parents. Offhand, ruthless people can grow up from those children. They will want to vindicate all life because of their sad childhood.
2. Other unsuitable style of obtaining the authority or the treatment is authority base upon distance. This way is the most frequently in the family of intellectuals. Those parents (sometimes father, sometimes mother, sometimes both of them) have for their children little time, they are with them only rarely .Children are inconsiderable because of the parents employment and interest of their job, therefore parents do not deal with their children. Grandmother or other person take care about them. Parents isolate themself in their workroom and take care about their interests, and therefore parents make environment which is typical for incomplete family with all of unfavorable implications.
3.Also very unsuitable is authority base upon a conceit, which is more harmful than antecedent parential authority. In the world there are also parents who fight for authority. They “rant” and magnify by their objective or think out success, preferences, of their consequence, beauty, stature, goods or public state. They bring up from their children vainglorious patronizing. Those children will talk up about their parents as about an abnormal people. Those children usually underestimate the youngest children. You can persuade about it, when you will listen small “whopper” , who “stately” represents his parents.
4. Unsuitable style obtaining authority is when their parents build up on nicety. Parents with nicety think that they have to have true at all events. Those parents think that in every word, which they say, it have to be law for their children. They do not see and do not registrate their children, their interests, sweets, sorrows and their
requisites. Parents of those children do not strove to understand their children. Those parents bureaucraticaly enforce their dominance and they are satisfy with formal result. When their child object to something their parents said him : “I have said, and it is valid!“, or “Haven’t you heard?!”
5.Some parents take seriously, each trifle. They utilize everything, because they want to castigate and reproach their children. They think, that in this is the rest of their tutorial sending. Those parents come out from principle, that they are inerrable. Children will hate sententiousness soon and sermonizing gastigation of their parents will negatively affect them.
6. Authority builds on overdraw love and goodness is ill. This authority is very augmented and leads to growing of sentimentalism. Children have to make everything from love and also they parents prove them love everywhere. Those parents tenderly title them, and also they still caress with them. Children hate their love, and they find out that they can jilt their parents. Those children know , when they will affect the love to parents it suffice, because they obtain advantages so. This authority leads to facileness, simulation and egoism and that is why it is dangerous type of parential authority.
7. Parents try to obtain submission of their children by goodness and facility. Tolerate them everything and take them everything, what they want. It is the impractical type of authority, therefore parents should avoid from it . Children remark situation soon and they start to command their parents and parents will adapt them.
8.Very wrong authority is build on bribery. Parents buy submission of their children with promises and presents (when you will be good you will go to the cinema or we will get you a bicycle).It is all right when parents sometimes reward their children for a good work or for excellent achievement. Rewarding of children for things which are their charge is not good.
9.Here are some parents who build up the authority on the friendship(they allow children to address them by baptism name).
10.Other parents undermine their authority, because in relation to children they are not homogeneous - one is strict another is clement, or one parent mandate something and another parent invalidats this mandate. Children sense it. Than children make use of it. They ambages it. Those things contortive their characters.
11.Parents can obtain the right authority by exemplary life, by true-hearted relation to children, also by relative respect and trust of each other. Parents, who respect laws of other people and accept hierarchy of sociable and ethical values. They live according it. Only those parents, whose language consists with facts, know upkeep trust and love of their children also they have natural parential authority, which results from exemplary life, industry and from good relation to all sociable values. Late their lifestyle can by shown on their children.
Tags: authority, children, children authority, parent authority, Psychology